February 8, 2013
Thief! Criminal Nails
While I realize that Presidents Day is in February and I am an Army veteran, sadly, my motivation for these nails was not patriotism. Times like these make me recall some great advice given by Thumper to Bambi, "If you can't say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all.". I hardly ever take advice from cartoon rabbits so here goes... These nails are for the *&%$# Jack Wagon that stole my rear license plate.
I have been told the chances of ever catching the thief is slim to none but never the less I have been extremely inconvenienced by the whole situation and here is my wish for the criminal. I hope they see flashing police lights (red and blue nails) and are swiftly beaten about the head with billy clubs evoking cartoon stars to swirl around their head. In my dream revenge the police are 1920's cartoons that will drag the perpetrator off to prison and put him/her in a striped jumper and ball and chain. Now a days inmates rarely ever wear black and white stripes but in my fantasy they will be dressed like the monopoly guy is on the Go directly to Jail card. So that's my rant about that. I think the red polish strategically placed on my middle finger about sums up my feelings about the person who did this. Has this ever happened to anyone else?